Date Added: 12th November 2025
The 7 Steps of Healing From Trauma
You can look completely composed on the outside - career thriving, calendar full, smile polished - and still feel like you’re barely holding yourself together.
I see it every week in my sessions with women who are successful, capable, and deeply self-aware… yet find themselves privately questioning:
The truth is — healing takes time
And it rarely looks like what we expect.
Progress Isn’t Always Obvious
When you’re in the middle of healing from trauma, emotional abuse, or the after-effects of a narcissistic relationship, it’s easy to believe you’re stuck.
But progress doesn’t always announce itself.
It often whispers.
It sounds like the pause before you react.
It looks like walking away instead of explaining yourself again.
It feels like finally believing that you don’t deserve to be treated that way.
One of my clients, a high-level executive, once said to me:
“I thought healing would feel like light and freedom. But at first, it just felt quiet. Unfamiliar. Like I’d finally stopped fighting - but didn’t know what to do with the silence.”
That quiet is not failure.
It’s your nervous system finally exhaling.
Setbacks Aren’t Failure - They’re Feedback
Healing isn’t linear.
There will be days that feel like setbacks.
Moments when you’re triggered by something you thought you’d already healed.
But that doesn’t mean you’ve gone backwards.
It means another layer is ready to be witnessed.
One client told me:
"I felt like I’d undone all my progress because I cried after seeing him again. But you reminded me — the difference this time was, I knew what was happening. I could name it. I didn’t believe his words anymore."
That is progress.
Awareness changes everything.
Grief and Anger Can Coexist
So often, we are told to pick one emotion.
To forgive. To let go. To “rise above.”
But real healing is messy.
It’s crying one minute and feeling powerful the next.
It’s grieving what never was while celebrating what you’re reclaiming.
You can be angry and healing.
You can grieve and grow.
You can feel broken and be rebuilding all at once.
My Own Journey
I know this path intimately.
For years, I lived trying to earn love that was never freely given.
I thought if I kept achieving, over giving, and performing, I’d finally feel seen.
But I kept ending up in the same cycle - exhausted, resentful, and doubting my own reality.
It wasn’t until I stopped trying to fix myself and started learning how to regulate my nervous system, set boundaries without guilt, and reconnect with the parts of me that were still waiting to be heard - that things began to change.
Healing didn’t happen all at once.
It happened in small, steady moments of truth.
Moments when I stopped fighting for their approval and started choosing peace over performance.
Now, I help other women do the same - and the transformations I see are extraordinary.
What Transformation Looks Like
When women commit to this work, here’s what begins to shift:
✨ Their nervous system calms. They stop living in a constant state of alert and start feeling safe in their own body again.
✨ Their self-worth rises. They stop questioning if they’re too much or not enough - and start seeing their value clearly.
✨ Their relationships change. They begin choosing connections that feel mutual, not transactional.
✨ Their energy returns. They wake up without that constant heaviness in their chest.
✨ Their peace becomes non-negotiable. They stop explaining themselves and start living in alignment with what feels right for them.
Healing doesn’t just repair what’s been broken - it redefines what’s possible.
Self-Reflection for Today
Take a moment right now to ask yourself:
What would I say to the version of me who thought she’d never get here?
What has changed — even slightly?
What do you no longer tolerate?
What have you learned to trust again?
That’s your proof.
That’s your progress.
One Gentle Act of Self-Care
Today, give yourself permission to slow down - even for five minutes.
Turn your phone on silent.
Breathe.
Step outside.
Remind your body: we’re safe now.
Healing begins in moments like that - small, quiet, intentional acts of self-respect.
Ready to Take Your Next Step?
If you’re ready to understand why breaking free feels so hard - and what’s really happening in your nervous system - I’ve created something to help.
🎁 Free Resource: 7 Steps to Healing from a Trauma Bond
This free guide will help you make sense of the emotional pull, release self-blame, and start rebuilding self-trust — one grounded, compassionate step at a time.
👉 Download Your Free Guide Here
Healing takes time.
But every boundary you hold, every truth you speak, and every moment you choose yourself - it all counts.
You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.
With Compassion’
Ros.
