Helping children with separation anxiety

Helping children with separation anxiety

• If you’re leaving your child in a new setting – child care centre, preschool, friend’s house, babysitter – spend time at the new place with your child before the separation. Your child will be less distressed if he’s left in a safe, familiar place with familiar people he trusts.
• Let your child take something she loves from home, like a teddy bear, pillow or blanket. These objects will help your child feel safer, and you can gradually phase them out as she feels more settled in the new place.
• Tell your child’s child care centre, preschool or school about his separation anxiety, and let them know about anything you’re doing to help your child. This way, other people in your child’s environment can give him consistent support.
• Gently encourage your child to separate from you by giving her practice. It’s important to give her positive experiences of separations and reunions. Avoiding separations from your child can make the problem worse.

When you are leaving your child

• Tell your child when you’re leaving and when you’ll be back. This is helpful even with babies. Sneaking out without saying goodbye can make things worse. Your child might feel confused or upset when he realises you’re not around and might be harder to settle the next time you leave him.
• Settle your child in an enjoyable activity before you leave.
• Say goodbye to your child briefly – don’t drag it out.
• Keep a relaxed and happy look on your face when you’re leaving. If you seem worried or sad, your child might think the place isn’t safe and can get upset too.

At home

• No matter how frustrated you feel, avoid criticising or being negative about your child’s difficulty with separation. For example, avoid saying things like ‘She’s such a mummy’s girl’ or ‘Don’t be such a baby’.
• Read books or make up stories with your child about separation fears – for example, ‘Once upon a time, there was a little bunny who didn’t want to leave his mummy in the hutch. He was afraid of what he might find outside …’. This might help your child feel he’s not alone in being afraid of separating from his parents.
• Make a conscious effort to foster your child’s self-esteem by complimenting her and giving her lots of positive attention.

For more helpful tips and hints on how to assist your child and yourself visit www.raisingchildren.net.au or call Ros Wilson on 0422 120 114.