Date Added: 20th january 2023
Introduction
Establishing goals is a common practice towards the end of the year. It's a great way to reflect on what you've achieved and look forward to how you can build upon it for the future.
Unfortunately, for those who have experienced trauma and may struggle with feelings of low self-esteem or lack of motivation, this tradition can lead to increased stress and worry.
As we look forward to better days in 2023, it’s important to approach the new year with a trauma-informed outlook.
Let's be conscious of any hurdles we may face and strive for achievable goals that can help reduce the negative emotions and symptoms of 2023.
If you focus on these five elements, 2023 can be a truly life-altering year! Embrace the potential and make the most of it.
Anticipate that struggles may arise, and be prepared for them ahead of time.
People often try to "leave the trauma in the past" and believe that they have failed if they can't do it. But it's understandable that these feelings resurface, and there's no need to worry or be disappointed in oneself.
Telling yourself to "forget" or "leave" your trauma in the past year is practically impossible. No matter how hard you try, the pain suffering won't disappear overnight.
Don't let go of what you've been through this year, instead bring it with you into the new one with a deeper understanding and a sense of hope. Begin fresh with a plan to nurture yourself and find healing.
Always remember that you are an evolving individual who brings along a unique past, experiences, and things to learn.
For many who have gone through trauma, it stays with them forever - much like a broken leg that never heals the same.
Asking people to just forget, move past and leave their traumas behind in 2022 is not a practical solution; it's simply too much to ask.
Instead, embrace the idea that you are taking this new year's resolutions with you and it may not be the first thing that greets you each morning. But it still will be there, waiting for you.
Let your imagination run wild and give that box a unique makeover - a coat of armor, or any other type of protection to keep it safe.
Some people identify themselves with their favorite superheroes, while some use colors or themes to represent power and development. It's truly awe-inspiring!
As I travel along my road to recovery, I draw hope and strength from a few items that have helped me stay encouraged. A feather to remind me of the courage I possess, a stone to signify my resilience and an anchor which serves as a reminder of my inner peace. These simple words and objects symbolize the path I am taking towards self-healing.
Afterwards, store it in a closet or discrete location for safekeeping.
Making it so that the reminder of your worth is there but not in plain sight can help encourage you to move forward. It will also serve as a powerful reminder that you are an individual with numerous aspects and qualities.
Validate the truth so that it is a priority in your life.
Survivors of abuse and family trauma have often had to go through painful experiences where their stories are not believed and their feelings are invalidated.
Such extreme circumstances were made worse by those who perpetrated the abuse.
Believe in your story and don't let anyone define or control it. It doesn't matter if others don't believe it, because its validity comes from within you.
Use your truth as motivation to progress.
Take the initiative to learn and enhance your skills in a positive manner.
Healing mental health isn't typically a linear journey; you won't find yourself fully recovered after completing a set of pre-determined steps. Everyone's experience is unique and requires different measures to make progress.
The year ahead may bring some challenges, but don't let those discourage you.
Try to make at least one positive change that will have a lasting impact on your life or several smaller changes cumulatively leading you to the bigger picture of success.
It could be a way to take away the anxiety you often feel, saving you precious time and mental energy.
Perhaps reading three books that focus on your personal development would be beneficial.
It's okay to feel vulnerable and have difficult days. Don't make yourself a promise of absolute perfection, as it's unrealistic and unsustainable in the long run.
Acknowledge your feelings and use self-compassion if you feel overwhelmed or break down in tears, or need to take a rest day.
Instead of lingering on negative emotions and energy, try to be aware of them and shift your focus towards creating awareness.
This will help you become more conscious of your mental wellbeing and reduce the amount of time spent in a state of distress.
Every step forward counts, even if you feel like taking a break or need to start over. Making progress is always worthwhile.
Take a moment to think about whether there is something essential that you need that you may have been overlooking.
Put in the effort to make it happen.
It’s important to make sure you get enough rest. It can be challenging at times, but try your best to prioritize getting enough sleep for a healthier lifestyle.
It's essential to prioritize adequate rest, so make sure to try & limit your invitations to social gatherings in the evening, keep your phone on silent & consider removing something else from your 'to-do' list that can take away from resting.
Many trauma survivors experience a great deal of guilt stemming from various sources, including their families, faith-based communities and society at large.
For trauma survivors, guilt can be overwhelming and can prevent them from expressing boundaries & refusing requests that they don't want to take part in. This guilt is a powerful but often unspoken barrier that needs to be addressed.
From a young age, many of us are taught that it's wrong to do anything for ourselves, so the concept of self-care can be uncomfortable at first. However, learning to take care of yourself is an important part of living a healthy life.
Taking some small steps to honoring yourself can be really helpful in the long run. Saying no to things like fixing your friend's car for free and using that time to do something that brings you joy will help strengthen your self-worth.
This year, why not work on feeling more comfortable and confident when taking care of yourself?
Be kind to yourself with compassion, love, and support.
Conclusion
As we head into 2023, let's take a moment to look back on all we have experienced in 2022 and think of ways to use it as a platform for growth. Let this new year be an opportunity to learn and grow even more.
Change is never easy, however having a supportive team around you can make the process much smoother. Reach out and ask for help, so you have people to encourage & motivate you.
Your support system could be made up of your closest family & friends, someone to keep you accountable, or a professional therapist or coach.
Give your team insight into your journey so they can provide you with support and motivation to help you stay on track.
I am here to provide a listening ear and offer some guidance wherever possible if you need support in understanding your relationships.
If you want to, I can be a part of your journey towards healing with a free 15-minute consultation.
It is an honor for me to be able to help in this way.
